Rhapsody

:) Para sa inyo

I made this blogspot account just for you guys. :) Sabi niyo gusto niyo kasi may chatter box... haha. Well, it's a little bare for now kasi nakakatamad na magayos. Lalagyan ko rin toh ng music. Don't worry.

Miss ko na kayo!

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When I blog, I blog honestly. As in, kung ano ang nakikita niyo ngayon, yun talaga ako. The only problem is, I'm not much of a writer. No coherency, no unity. Besides that, masyadong marami ang gusto kong sabihin. Hahaha. Kaya mahirap.

I tend to jump from one point to another. one topic to another. xD Kaya nawawalan ng point ang paglagay ng subject.

Isa pa, I'm not good with words. I end up using the wrong term, therefore causing a misunderstanding. But that's not a big issue here anyway, so no matter. :)

Right now, for my second post, I'll just write whatever comes to my mind. :)
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Up until now, di pa nagssink-in ung feeling ng pagiging graduate. I dunno... I'll feel flashes of sadness and nostalgia, but that's it.

I think it's because I felt too much during last year's grad.

Naalala ko nun, I felt sad and excited. I felt as if kasama ako sa mga grumaduate. Ewan ko... Siguro nga kaya parang wala lang sakin tong paggraduate kasi I felt it na last year. Weird ko noh? hahaha.

Mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety hit me when I think of the next two months.

How will I cope in college? Will I still be able to keep in touch with my friends? Will I make new friends? College's a BIG adventure for me.


Sabi ko I plan on dieting throughout summer. This brings me to the reasons why I don't really feel like dieting.

I feel fine with myself. Wala naman akong image issues. A lot of people tell me, kung magpapapayat ako, I'll be one eye-catcher. Marami daw magkakagusto sakin. But what the hell do I care about that??! I don't want guys to pursue me because they think I'm pretty or because "I caught their eyes". I want them to pursue me because they they think I have a great personality and they like my company.

But I think I really ought to do it for health reasons. Ayoko ma-highblood, maging diabetic and... yun. Basically that's it. Kaya I'll try my best to do it this summer. (Lord please help me)

Why...? I was getting along fine. I forgot about you, then suddenly you visit my thoughts for no apparent reason. I try to forget about you again, telling myself that it's only natural to think of someone I know every once in a while. You're not worth remembering. You're not worth anything I've got. So why? Why, after all this time, I think about you? I never ever want to see, talk, nor think of you again. Pero anong magagawa? Nanjan ka na eh. It only pisses me off to find out that you've changed into something even more appaling and disgusting than you were. Yun na nga yun eh. You were a jerk then... but I still held on. Now, I thought, na let go ko na. Ewan. I don't think I'm that good of a person to still be blind about all this. But for a long time, I made sure I kept the blindfold on. Tinaggal ko na. and yet... I still feel the same way. I'm hating you for it. I wish I could just erase you from my memory so I could never remember how I felt back then. How we were. I was naive. Nagiging senti na lang ako. Sa lahat pa ng kasesentihan ko, ikaw pa. Aba. Masaya ka.


If there's anything I'm afraid of... it's to get hurt. I hate getting hurt. I'm sure marami ring ganito... pero, yun talaga yung pinaka-ayoko. Tapos I don't like making mistakes. I guess you can say its somewhat a lighter version of being a perfectionist (hey, I'm NOT a perfectionist). It's just that, I think that if I make mistakes, I'll get hurt. you know... hay... yun. That's why I'm afraid of taking chances. But the ironic thing is, I like taking chances, and I love the thrill of not knowing what will happen. I love thrills. hahaha.

I love a lot of things. I love God. I love my friends. I love you!

posted by chanteusse @ 9:43 PM