Friday, August 11, 2006

Leadership and me

I used to be one of the "leaders" during gradeschool. I have no idea how and when it started, but I always got chosen as the leader.

It never occurred to me that I have these leadership qualities, and so I am often surprised when people point to me to be the leader. In fact, I was often worried that I may not be doing the job well. At times, I'd have to say that I manage to do it well, but there are other times when I can't. Back then, I was the kind of person who gets easily discouraged and I suppose that's why come high school, I only exerted the tiniest bit of effort to become one of the "leaders".

But still, I was baffled. Every new school year brings new classmates. I still had no idea why, during these times (the start of the school year), a lot of people assume I'm one of the "leaders". I often got appointed as leader, either because none of them wants to, or they think I'm the type. geesh.

Honestly, I don't have the skills. >_< Sometimes, I may posses the "bossy" thing that are often present, albeit not in a bad way, in the "leaders", but I don't know... I just don't see myself as the type to lead people. I'm not someone who can comfortably tell people to do this and do that, go here and go there, if you don't do that by this time, you're dead. No, none of that.

This is also one of the reasons why I don't think I'll make it in diplomacy. I don't have the right charisma (if there ever is such a thing). I just think I'm incredibly lucky to find nice people who I like talking with and spending time with.

(Christine: I know I asked you and you told me that I do. Or at least that I'm, in a way, approachable by people... but... I don't know. What if you're the only one who thinks that? -_-)

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Is it just me and rejoice, or is there something different today? It has been.. I dunno, weird. Nothing specific though. I suppose we're just both frustrated with something. -_-

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I'm used to always be helping people out even in the smallest possible way. I guess it was just sort of surprising to have my help be refused by someone else. *shrug* mababaw ako eh. :)

1 Comments:

At August 11, 2006 7:39 PM , Blogger tangkie said...

you may not believe on your self-esteem but hey, there are others how great and how special you are. They wouldn't be pointing at you and say "she's the one" if they don't believe on your qualities. It depends on the person on how she sees herself. Like you, you see yourself as a girl without those capabilities. Yet others believe in you. :) Get it? :D

 

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